Trailer Park Boys - Rickyisms

German Forklift Training Video

Puzzle

Driscoll Middle School Trick Play

VAN vs. MTL

Tonight is the night of the big grudge match between my Vancouver Canucks and Alicia's Montreal Canadiens.

The Canucks have been on a roll lately with a couple nice wins and the third line combining for 19 points in the last 6 games. The Canadiens... well they still suck. haha.

We still haven't figured out a good bet for tonights game. Any suggestions?

Bottomless Pit

Stalking

Learning From Mistakes

Gay Bacon

Nature's Alarm Clock

For All You Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

8. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

9. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

10. A calendar’s days are numbered.

11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

15. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye..

18. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

21. The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said ‘No change yet’

33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

34. Don’t join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.

Lisa discovers boys...

Manwich

Spider Bite

Melons

Supercouple

This is a picture from Thanksgiving at my aunt's house. The lovely girl on the left is my wonderbabe, Alicia.

Happy Halloween!

Pillow Talk

Don Draper

Soup Of The Day

Graph

Vegetarian

Seafood Showdown

Tonight Alicia and I will be attempting to eat as much crab legs as possible and force the establishment which shall remain nameless to go into bankruptcy. She assumes that she can put away more seafood than me, however she doesn't fully realise that up until a few years ago I was actually a Great White Shark living off the coast of Australia.

It was a difficult transition going from an easy life at sea. I was used to spending my days trolling the reefs for endless schools of fish to satisfy my ferocious appetite for seafood. I had to learn to walk, how to talk, and how to live with this gigantic tenticle between my legs (which I assumed was only for octopi?)

To this day I miss my former life as a shark. The truth is though many of my shark friends have either been captured by Marineland and turned into attractions or picked up by the Chinese black market. ( My how our fins were tasty) But I digress, I should feel right at home with an endless, all you can eat supply of fresh-ish? fish tonight.

We plan to test the all you can eat theory tonight as are fully prepared with a team of Harvard lawyers on retainer in the event that we get cut off prematurely. You're going down crab.

Me Half Asleep

What do these 7 words have in common?

1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess

Mirror Lake

Stereotypes

Daily Groaner

A mother living in Canada has two identical twin boys that she gives up for adoption. The two boys get split up and go to live in different countries. One lives in Egypt and is named Amal, and the other lives in Mexico and is called Juan.
Years pass and Juan wonders how how his birth mother is doing so he sends a letter with a picture of himself. She receives the letter and starts to wonder about her other son, Amal. She says to her husband "I would love to get a picture of him also". He replies, "Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal".

Mad Outfit

So Halloween is one of my favourite times of the year. Everybody gets to dress up and pretend to be their favourite whatever, which is something I do anyway but its always more fun when everybody else does it too.

The last couple years I've gone as Nikki Sixx, which is always fun when you plan on going out to bars to get trashed. Little cold with the skin tight spandex zebra pants last year though. This year I'm dressing like Don Draper from the television show Mad Men.

As far as costumes go, this is very easy to replicate. Just a suit and a skinny tie. Well, I'll need cigarettes and Canadian Club whiskey, but lets be honest, I keep those on my night table already.

I can't wait to see Alicia as Betty Draper...

Welcome To My Life!

This is the home of all things Mike. Follow along as I document my life and live the life of MiGuar.